Lululemon Launches New Line for Coal Miners (Lists)

Photoshop by Shannon Damiano

Satire. Read the real news story here!

Dear girlbosses, we are THRILLED to announce our newest line dedicated to the people who make it all happen behind the scenes: the workers mining the coal we use for power to manufacture our clothing! Mining is workout #goals, from heavy lifting to pickaxing and other stuff. We’re so grateful for their efforts, so we’re gifting them our all new Coalrobics line!

1. Breathable Cashmere Tank in Charcoal

If there’s one thing our coal miners need, it’s breathable clothing that won’t get dirty while they’re down there! Mining is a strenuous full-body workout (slay!) so our miners need absorbent, cool tops as they work up a sweat digging or whatever.

2. Sculpt Low Rise Yoga Pant in Soot Grey

We’ve heard from our operations managers that our miners like to do yoga between toiling in the mines. So we designed the perfect yoga pant: slimming, stretchy, and infused with essential oils to prevent Black Lung.

3. Invigorate™ Reinforced Leather Gloves

Cute and comfy with excellent abrasive grip for handling wire and cables!

4. Cute and comfy with excellent abrasive grip for handling wire and cables!

This crew neck is baggy without looking huge, a perfect sweatshirt to keep the miners warm after their cool-down stretches. We even added fire proof coating to protect from explosions!

5. Quilted Tie Dye Tote

Miners can carry all their gear in this trendy tote while adding a pop of color to their wardrobe. 

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